People are so fucking dumb. I am currently watching a "documentary", and i use the term lightly. very lightly, called "the scariest places on earth". it makes me sad, because people look so hard for things out of the ordinary, things supernatural, and things miraculous. I think it's because they haven't learned how to see living as out of the ordinary, to see connections and feelings and relationships, good, bad, and in between, as supernatural, and life as a miracle. so they go to "haunted" places, trying to get a cheap thrill where life and even religion have dissapointed them. they want palpable, seeable truth that there is something bigger than them, and so find what they are looking for, as they are trying to be "open minded". they are lost, in trying to be found.
the real scariest place on earth is the one where you are treated like you don't exist. where you are judged by your mistakes alone, and not by your character, which is a sum of all the parts, and where secrets are dropped like change from a pocket and traded like filthy currency.
I loved the uplifting little fireside chat that went on at the end of rehearsal tonight. it was great. really. you all care so much. but clinging to an stillborn kid and saying pretty words don't make it better. nor does having a band "OMG all the way from Italy" wondering how those kids in Podunk Where-the-fuck, U.S.A(right?). are doing with that play. It's dumb. maybe some of you meant what you said. but it sounded like a bunch of kids trying to sound as committed and attached to the play as everyone else. I used to do that to.
good fucking night.
and P.S. don't be so arrogant as to think its you who i'm talking to, or me i'm talking about. you don't know.
P.S.S. :p i sound rather vindictive, huh? trying to get that whole angsty emotional blogger thing goin' on. 'm'i doin' it rite? I'm fuking tired.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Very Superstitious
Posted by Benjamin at 12:40 AM
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5 comments:
I adore you.
Where the fuck did that come from?
thanks, Cass :]
and it came from the fact that I find it funny how these plays always go. people try to look good, that the motivation. i have met a select few who actually did theater because of something inside themselves that said "speak to the world through drama." the rest of us just get all worked up and try to feel like we're doing it "for the play", and are "dedicated" and "want it to succeed" I've said everything that was said on that stage last night, and tried to act every part in my small stint in drama. its just so funny to see it from the outside.
good to see that you're as optimistic as always.
if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.
what those dumb kids need is faith, and I'm glad that while I'm sitting there trying to fucking spoon feed it to them you have your own opinions.
sorry ben, no conflict here, honest.
just don't, okay. don't.
:P conflict is what i do, you know that. and I put this here so that I don't say it to them. they do need hope. give it to them. i've lost mine.
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