We're close to the edge, hope not to fall off

Growing pains, growing pains.

Lift up your hearts, all will come right, out of the depths of sorrow and of sacrifice. We'll be born again, the glory of mankind.
-Winston Churchill

I want to do my acadec speech with this quote in it somewhere. but i want to to do it on the innate abhorrence of socialism the older generation has, and most of the nations ability to so vehemently defend their constitutional rights, while in doing so depriving others of theirs. I'd like to bring in universal health care, religion, and two or three more poignant issues of today and tomorrow. thoughts?

This is for the best

at least, it better be, because i've commited.

I'm sorry. I really am. I hope you pull through. I hope you're alright. I do still love you, but it needed to end, and this is the only way i could see that it would end.

I'm sorry. all my best wishes. please don't forget me, but don't remember me as that dick of a boyfriend who stopped talking to you. I think being forgotton would be preferable to that.

thank you for my jacket back.

Mars Landing

I look in the pictures for a story that ends favorably.

no luck

bleh

I've found that I love walking. not on established roads, to established places. I like walking with no idea where I'll end up. I like walking away from my life and toward the unknown. I like to forget for a bit my problems. I like to lose myself in the clear blue sky. I like to come around a bend and be genuinly surprised by whats there. I like coming home to people who love me. I like my music. I don't like the internet, but its a place where people might listen to me, which i need. I want to walk and never come back. I'm tired of this. tired of hurting. tired of coming back. tired tired tired. I need to meet someone. some one cute and funny and new. please find me.

love, you didn't do right by me.

but i guess you didn't do wrong either, so we're chill.

peace.

sRacecaRs

I'm hoping life is like a bunch of video games. cause you'll soon leave me behind, but I assume you aren't great at racing games, so I'll eventually catch up to you. at least, I hope so.

Very Superstitious

People are so fucking dumb. I am currently watching a "documentary", and i use the term lightly. very lightly, called "the scariest places on earth". it makes me sad, because people look so hard for things out of the ordinary, things supernatural, and things miraculous. I think it's because they haven't learned how to see living as out of the ordinary, to see connections and feelings and relationships, good, bad, and in between, as supernatural, and life as a miracle. so they go to "haunted" places, trying to get a cheap thrill where life and even religion have dissapointed them. they want palpable, seeable truth that there is something bigger than them, and so find what they are looking for, as they are trying to be "open minded". they are lost, in trying to be found.

the real scariest place on earth is the one where you are treated like you don't exist. where you are judged by your mistakes alone, and not by your character, which is a sum of all the parts, and where secrets are dropped like change from a pocket and traded like filthy currency.

I loved the uplifting little fireside chat that went on at the end of rehearsal tonight. it was great. really. you all care so much. but clinging to an stillborn kid and saying pretty words don't make it better. nor does having a band "OMG all the way from Italy" wondering how those kids in Podunk Where-the-fuck, U.S.A(right?). are doing with that play. It's dumb. maybe some of you meant what you said. but it sounded like a bunch of kids trying to sound as committed and attached to the play as everyone else. I used to do that to.

good fucking night.

and P.S. don't be so arrogant as to think its you who i'm talking to, or me i'm talking about. you don't know.

P.S.S. :p i sound rather vindictive, huh? trying to get that whole angsty emotional blogger thing goin' on. 'm'i doin' it rite? I'm fuking tired.

to many dead, to many living

I've got dead people in my suitcase. I travel through the day, enjoying life, having fun, making inferences, taking things for granted, and philosophizing, but when I finally sit down on my bed, and pop my mental suitcase to get ready for the night and the morning, out come a whole bunch of unresolved, putrid corpses, yet I can't bring myself to put them down just yet.

New Pixels

Just an update, cause I'm unreasonably proud of my theme, and it's symbolism :]

Every Girl a Maid, and Every Boy an Urchin

I think that every boy's major goal is to be the night in shining armor. one could argue that it seems that the only main goal we pursue is sex, really, even that is a step, albiet a misguided one, toward that longstanding goal. It's a short cut to that feeling, and so most, if not all guys tend to want for it. however, even more fulfilling is to be the one to "save" the girl, whoever she may be, from whatever seems to be holding her back, from the little girl version of this Knight in Shining Armor wish, To be a princess. to be loved, seen as beautiful and special and kind and wise and compassionate. to be loved, in short, by the very knight that every boy aspires to be, as well as by the lesser folk, the not knights. I want to be a knight. I want to ride into life and slay dragons and be seen as good and honorable and just and loving and compassionate. I want to rescue my princess.

But, perhaps at the same time, I want to be a scallywag. a vagabond. a ranger. taking what i need from life to fulfill my own desires. maybe thats the paradox. inside every boy, hell, every person, there are two conflicting personas. the Valourus knight/Beautiful princess, and the Rapicious vagabond/Scandalous wench. maybe what eventually asserts where you fall outwardly is the varying degrees of these that exist inside of you? I dunno. All I know is that I am freaking out because I don't know how to doublethink. I can't hold two ideas of myself at once. my brain is going to explode next time i'm forced to think about this. bleh.

Happy Easter/Passover/Spring Solstice, by the way. Hope you enjoy it. Drop me a line. i'm feeling lonely. peace, kids.

Pandemic 2

Is the best flash game I've ever played.

http://www.addictinggames.com/pandemic2.html

Dooitttt.