New Pixels

Just an update, cause I'm unreasonably proud of my theme, and it's symbolism :]

Every Girl a Maid, and Every Boy an Urchin

I think that every boy's major goal is to be the night in shining armor. one could argue that it seems that the only main goal we pursue is sex, really, even that is a step, albiet a misguided one, toward that longstanding goal. It's a short cut to that feeling, and so most, if not all guys tend to want for it. however, even more fulfilling is to be the one to "save" the girl, whoever she may be, from whatever seems to be holding her back, from the little girl version of this Knight in Shining Armor wish, To be a princess. to be loved, seen as beautiful and special and kind and wise and compassionate. to be loved, in short, by the very knight that every boy aspires to be, as well as by the lesser folk, the not knights. I want to be a knight. I want to ride into life and slay dragons and be seen as good and honorable and just and loving and compassionate. I want to rescue my princess.

But, perhaps at the same time, I want to be a scallywag. a vagabond. a ranger. taking what i need from life to fulfill my own desires. maybe thats the paradox. inside every boy, hell, every person, there are two conflicting personas. the Valourus knight/Beautiful princess, and the Rapicious vagabond/Scandalous wench. maybe what eventually asserts where you fall outwardly is the varying degrees of these that exist inside of you? I dunno. All I know is that I am freaking out because I don't know how to doublethink. I can't hold two ideas of myself at once. my brain is going to explode next time i'm forced to think about this. bleh.

Happy Easter/Passover/Spring Solstice, by the way. Hope you enjoy it. Drop me a line. i'm feeling lonely. peace, kids.

Pandemic 2

Is the best flash game I've ever played.

http://www.addictinggames.com/pandemic2.html

Dooitttt.

All quiet on the home front

I'm so fucking tired of that phrase. thats my spring break. bleh.

eh, But i think i'm almost back. a little worse for the wear, but i think my circuits are at least 85% back online, so thats good. a bit of that is because of my new favorite movie, dawn of the dead. I picked up the unrated directors cut and if was pretty chill. good writing, good storie. a little squeemish on the whole baby part, but what can you expect? For the record, game and fish expo's might as well be called "an expo of things and people all distinctly not attractive in anyway". bleh. not a single cute girl :p feels weird to be saying that.

So anyways, just an update to let you kids know that I'm not being a depressed emo pussy anymore, so you can talk to me. well, most of you :p just kidding. so yeah. see you kids tommorow.

peace

a bad case

I miss you. I thought I'de let you know. this isn't an attempt to get you back, I just felt it, and wondereed if you missed me. This is alot harder than i thought it would be.

Goodnight. I hope the concert was fun.

The Kings of Carrot Flowers, The April Fools

Reconfiguration
Readjustment
Release

I don't feel good.
My insides are confused
I'm cold

The dog died
I miss it, but I guess it was a long time coming.

I've just got way to much things to think about, and no distractions.

I don't want distractions, i don't want to forget.

ick. ick ick ick.

BLOG!

Collaberate and listen, Ben is back wit' mah bran' new invention!...

or blog, really.

UPDATE! nobody gives a shit about bigfoot!

but enough of that.once, I wrote this haiku:
Flashes of sunlight
illuminate my chamber
my half-heart is gone

It was in a completely different context then the past few days, but it's kinda stuck with me during them. However, the time has been well spent. I've discovered the importance of being me. of having my plans. my goals, my life. and I hope this lesson stays with me. so i'd like to proffer a new haiku:
Beating in tandem
today we will stand, here, now
as trees without roots

peace, kids. sleep good tonight.